The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour

Ghostwatch

Darkness falls across the land, the drinking hour is close at hand; to tear apart your very soul, and delve into The Glory Hole! Yes as dusk strikes on the year, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour turns its attention to a truly seminal piece of vintage television that's sure to put the willies up anybody...

Under the spooktroscope this Samhain is BBC1's legendary Ghostwatch, the 1992 pseudo-documentary fronted by Sir Michael Parkinson which exceeded its remit in terms of terrifying viewers and ultimately bequeathed a televisual legacy far greater than anyone had really intended. But cynicism is the enemy of awe as aeons pass, and there's no greater battle for emotional sincerity than the one playing in the viewing suite of MountPeg Towers this stormy evening.

How big is the cupboard under the stairs in a two-bedroom semi in suburban west-London? How come that person looks like them out of that thing that you can't quite place? And how come the Beeb got around Equity stipulations by employing people who clearly weren't actors?

Move the glass over PLAY and find out...


The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional live accompaniments by Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to PeggyMountPod@gmail.com

 

Scream! Comic (1984)

Well, the weather may be warming up but there's a chill in the air at MountPeg Towers. Producer Ken's back from the paper shop and he's brought something to put the willies right up Doctor Velvet and Blackout. Naturally, their combination of morbid curiosity, short memory span and chronic boredom means they're only too willing to oblige...

 

Setting up stall for dark things to come once the TV schedules re-ignite, the first issue of 1984 horror comic Scream comes in for a playfully gruesome dissection. All manner of horrors await our heroes as reality melts, death is only a heartbeat away, and dreams and nightmares collide in 32 pages of panic that'll have everyone cowering under the continental quilt...

 

Is a shovel the best implement for fighting off a horde of rabid cats? Is the front garden the best place for burying an unembalmed body?And is neat vodka suitable for sterilising plastic fangs?

 

If you think you're brave enough, click Play and find out...

 

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Smash Hits (1987)

The boys of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour continue their turbulent odyssey of past periodicals as voices begin to break, clothes start to matter more, and you can be entirely judged on liking an incorrect song from the hit parade. Yes, it's a return to the awkward years of enforced superficiality as 1980s teen culture comes under the beeroscope.

And it rarely gets more awkward than this issue of legendary music mag, Smash Hits. Seemingly penned by a range of journalists who despise music, the Autumn 1987 advertisement-directory also features content-free articles, fictionalised interviews and lyrics for songs which never existed. For a relic of the pre-internet era, it's all remarkably meta...

How many pints is Rick Astley going to neck as he tries to shake his interviewer? How many write-ups is Doctor Velvet going to take extreme exception to? And how many pounds is Blackout likely to spend on a Personal Cassette Player™?

You can press Play here, or dial 0898 [REDACTED] to find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Eagle Comic (1982)

It's Saturday morning once again, and what would the weekend even be without a trip to the paper shop, a plain paper bag full of unbranded sweets that have all been individually handled by the friendly newsagent, and a comic - nay magazine, surely? - to get stuck into before World Of Sport comes on?

 

This week, beguiled by colourful illustrations of fearsome aliens and a cover-mounted Free Gift, the hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour have been have parted with twenty pence to partake in the first issue of the relaunched Eagle comic from 1982. Aimed at boisterously opinionated boys who love sci-fi, horror and crime-fighting intrigue (and who have a penchant for collecting tat), this feels like it was created in a secret government lab to appeal to Doctor Velvet and Blackout...

 

Will the mysterious man who embodied Sgt Streetwise ever be found? Will the post-apocalyptic survivors of London Town ever find a leader who actually understands the tube network? And will somebody please help Mike Read?

 

Launch your free Space Spinner™ at the Play button, and find out...

 

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Star Wars Summer Special (1983)

Yes, there's still nothing on the telly so the boys from The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour turn to the wise counsel of their local newsagent for solace, distraction and entertainment. Well, they sent Producer Ken down there. That Front Street's seen better days, mind...

His successful journey apparently via the Galaxy Far, Far Away, coming under the macrobinoculars this week is May 1983's Star Wars Summer Special; subjected here to more editorial appraisal than it ever was in May 1983. With industrial genocide, trans-dimensional cults and hypnotic death-monkeys, this UK-centric spin on everyone's favourite feelgood fantasy is sure to test the very limits of the words "Star Wars", "Summer" and indeed "Special".

What's happened with the timeline when Han Solo is working with the Rebels he met after the Death Star to steal a ship he already owned before the Death Star? What's happened with Imperial procurement when staff are turning up to work in a tracksuit their mam bought off the market? And who's responsible for casting Chewbacca's understudy?

Jump to hyperspace (or press Play) and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Look-In (1981)

It's almost time for a new series of the Peggy Mount Calamity Hour, but Doctor Velvet and Blackout are very aware that if they keep sitting in front of that box they'll go square-eyed. With that in mind, our heroes take a break from watching the telly, and begin a handful of vintage periodical retrospectives by reading about it instead...

First to plop onto the doormat is a September 1981 issue of Look-In magazine, the 'Junior TV Times' of the pre-deregulation era which created, trained and honed an entire generation of nitpicking television obsessives; the end result of which is podcasts like this one.

How widely can the viewing demographic of 'pre-teen TV audience' be stretched, in an age where there are only three channels so 10yr olds watch pretty much anything they're allowed to stay up for? How narrowly does one of the hosts avoid a murderous rage, after poring over every page of a publication which apparently doesn't have time for proofreaders? And where do you have to live if you want to watch Chopper Squad?

Fill out a little form, hand it to your podsagent, hit Play and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Heads And Tails/In Company

Finally the weather starts to warm up, and as we all know in the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. The hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour are not young men, of course. They are resolutely (and perennially) middle-aged, and so their jaded thoughts are of mowing the lawn, if they must. Which, naturally, means going In The Shed.

 

That's right dear listener, this outing is another in the ongoing series of Shed Sessions recordings, and this time the proceedings are of a decidedly musical bent. The first stop is bathing in the quirky glory of nature with Sir Derek Griffiths' Heads And Tails, and when the sun has set but the heat's still up it's round for drinks at Dame Cleo Laine's luxury pad, noting of course that she's always In Company...

 

How many session fees is D.Griffith racking up after adhering to the M.Union rules about separate instruments requiring different lines in the budget? How many shots is J.Thaw necking every time he knows the camera isn't on him? And how many consecutive days had the presenters of this podcast been awake and drinking by this point?

 

B.like C.Laine, get immediately down to business and find out...

 

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

 

 

 

Ragdolly Anna

As the evenings get lighter and that man in the park with the tracksuit bottoms becomes more animated in his dealings with passers-by, all signs point to Winter finally beginning to end. And emerging from their hidey-hole in Mountpeg Towers like the Blue Peter tortoise with a hangover, the hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour uncork bottles once again to let their profane rambling drift across the streets below...

Don't get too excited, this is another entry to The Shed Sessions™, very much the lo-fi punk rock non-album-EP of the indie podcast movement; three guys grabbing the world by the TV schedules and laying down some hard facts and harder opinions of underground broadcasting in a post-truth age! So obviously they've chosen to dissect 1986 episode of the Pat Coombs voodoo adventure series, Ragdolly Anna.

Just how long is a coach journey which necessitates a full tin of cakes? Just how tall is Dummy? And just how high to you have to be to enjoy this programme?

Smuggle a cat onto public transport then spend the entire journey having a conversation into a wicker shopping basket to find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet with additional live accompaniment from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

BBC Scotland - The New Year Party 1983

As another year draws to an appropriately ignominious end, the three brave souls of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour weather the cold to trek north of The Border and warm their weary cockles by the fireside of Caledonian hospitality, and perhaps enjoy a dram or two into the bargain...

Yes, it's time for The New Year Party, BBC Scotland's televised Hogmanay bash from the arse-end of 1983, where the two Bs (McCue and Torrance), are joined by the two Ms (Moone and Anderson) for an evening of songs, dancing, comedy, dancing, pipes and yes why not let's have a bit more dancing. There's something for EVERYONE here! Providing everyone doesn't mind the dancing.

How many laws of the space-time continuum have been broken in Glasgow to fit so many people into a studio which is clearly three adjoining store cupboards with the walls knocked through? How many officers of the Health & Safety Directive have been ignored in allowing those people to drink and smoke to their hearts' content throughout? And how many of Scotland's audiologists managed to rack up the overtime in January due to the catastrophic hearing damage caused by that Olympic-sized pipe band?

Mak your muckles, deep fry your kebabs, press Play and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

All Star Comedy Carnival Christmas 1972

'Twas the night before Christmas and through MountPeg Towers, bottles of port, red wine and brown ale had been strategically placed into a series of time-lock-release safes to ensure an even spread of gradual inebriation throughout the twenty-fifth thereby ensuring it's not all gone after two hours.

Yes, the day is almost upon us and The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's festive celebrations peak once more with the god-tier array of light entertainment name-dropping that is ITV's 1972 showcase, All Star Comedy Carnival (that's right, the one from every fifth-or-so Steps Up The Mountain). With Blair, Grayson, Tarby, Wogan, Rod Hull, Moira Anderson AND PEGGY MOUNT, everything you have ever wanted waits in here...

How slowly can time pass while you're waiting for a four-minute On The Buses Christmas Sketch to end? How quickly does a programme have to oscillate between low-brow autopilot sitcom and high-precision performance art to give viewers the televisual bends? And how on earth is your favourite* vintage TV podcast going to top this?

Unwrap. Press Play. Be as disappointed as every year.

*go on, admit it.

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com