The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour

I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle

As noted several moons ago, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour knows that the language of cinema is a little different to that of the small screen, but it’s a lesson they love to revisit nonetheless. This week’s study is of personal pronouns; as in ‘She'll probably regret wearing that’, ‘He made an egg sandwich that should be on trial’, and ‘I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle’…

Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout round out the podcast's After Dark series by shining a flickering torch into the dimmest days of the British Film Industry, to find the Boon reunion-party in full swing and drenched in red-dyed corn syrup. Still, there’s a vicar on-hand so it’s all good* clean** fun***.

Why did Anthony Daniels agree to a part in this? Why did Burt Kwouk agree to a part as long as he didn't have to speak? And why did Pod Producer Ken leave the room mid-way through and lock himself in the toilet, crying?

Put 20p in the pub jukebox, press Play, swing off a cast iron chandelier and find out…

* delete
** as
*** appropriate

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Knight Rider

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour continues to explore the weekly cultural abyss of what really goes on After Dark. But as so often with the analysis of horror, the story of what scares us isn't quite as intriguing as what in turn reassures. And for a formative mind in the harsh striplights of the 1980s, there are few things so reassuring as the jet slacks, tousled demi-wave and leatherette blouson of the world's most mysterious techno-vigilante...

Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout are joined once again by the loveably irascible Ozzy Bognops, as their attention turns to that doyenne of Saturday teatime adventure, the Knight Rider. Because when things take a theatrically sinister turn on a Hollywood backlot and Michael Knight is sent to investigate, absolutely no nit will be left unpicked back at Mountpeg Towers...

How much money can you save by writing a screenplay set literally in the studio where it's going to be made, so that you don't have to do any set-dressing? How convenient is it to get your star's stuntman to play the star in a thing where your star plays his stuntman? And how many hints does a man have to drop that he just wants a job where he can go to the beach?

Tell your car to press Play, and find out...


The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Leap In The Dark

It's the question asked by anybody of an inquiring mind (and the hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour are no exception) when faced with baffling circumstance and an unexplained outcome: Did that actually just happen? In fact, so determined are they to get to the bottom of it all that they've asked The ExtonMoss Experiment to come round and help solve the mysteries of the universe. Or of Bristol, at the very least.

Yes, passing under the rickety analytical equipment knocked together in a remote barn is BBC2's landmark cultural exploration of the outré from 1973, Leap In The Dark. Covering an array of psychic phenomena such as astrology, clairvoyance, divining and walking around a field for hours on end with sticks, this thoughtful yet playfully sceptical magazine-show is sure to raise more questions than it answers...

Is Gordon Snell sponsored by Lee Bender? Is Linda Blandford sponsored by BUPA? And has Dŵr Cymru Welsh Water still not sponsored that cottage yet?

Wave your dowsing rod over the Play button and you might just find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Defenders Of The Earth

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is nothing if not a podcast of juxtapositions and contrasts, like mixing vintage TV shows with digital platforms, and necking Malibu and Quatro out of the antique sherry glasses. And it's this grating collision of 1980s futurism and sepia-toned yesteryear to which the hosts turn once again, because everyone knows it's not really a horror-season if you don't put A Dracula™ in it...

Yes, messrs Velvet, Blackout and Bognops break out the garlic and make sure the pooper-scoopers are within arm's reach, as Flash Gordon, The Phantom and a host of King Features chums (as well as a minibus full of their kids) find themselves knee-deep in Transylvanian doings when the Defenders Of The Earth (defenders...) wonder what exactly has gone into Dracula's Potion.

How many biological-photocopying superpowers does Dracula have that that even Bram Stoker didn't know about? How does the Grade-2-listed status of a 900yr old Eastern European castle affect a local authority application for an on-site massage parlour with neon-pink accent lighting? And how do the Defenders Of The Earth (defenders...) think that turning up unannounced in a remote woodland village dressed like the Aerobics-Wing of the Gladiators isn't going to lead to a little bit of adverse comment at the very least?

Nip round to Phaze for a quick change of clothes, press Play and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

You're Only Young Twice: The Gipsy's Curse

Fear of the unknown has always been a source of crippling anxiety for puny humans, and it pays to scry the future at any available moment. Whether you've got one eye on the 3:30 at Chepstow, on that recent headline about an escaped leopard, or on that pair of plimsolls in the window of Freeman Hardy & Willis for Saturday afternoon, you simply can't out-run destiny (and those plimsolls look great #BuyTheThings).

Yes, the mists are clearing at The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour as our hosts return once again to their beloved Paradise Lodge and find that You're Only Young Twice. A visiting clairvoyant brings dire forebodings to those who treat her less than reverently, and since that's Flora default-setting it's safe to predict trouble by tea-time...

How culturally insensitive is it to write A Locationally Undisclosed Foreign Character™ into your sitcom if the associated performer doesn't even attempt a remotely recognisable accent? How fast can you make an elderly woman ride a motorcycle down a cobbled street before the insurance overseer has a fit of the vapours? And how is Blackout supposed to plan a road-trip if Geography as we know it is a mere construct of Yorkshire Television?

Press Pause, consult Google Maps, press Play then find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

 

 

Highway To Heaven

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's concerted foray into televisual horror continues apace, with Doctor Velvet, Blackout and Ozzy Bognops continuing to wade drinks-aloft through the darkness. But into every cobwebbed crypt an ecclesiastical sunbeam must fall, and salvation arrives in the form of The Finest Hair On Television™...

Yes, this week our trio of intrepid explorers brace their souls against all the netherworld has to offer by hitching a ride on the Highway To Heaven, where a Hallowe'en motel stop-over gives rise to interwoven suburban homilies on the spiritual dangers of practical jokes, emotional disengagement and sandwiches.

How many appearance, repeat and residual fees does Michael Landon® bank by penning in archive-footage of his own cinematic back catalogue? How many times do the hosts say the words Michael Landon® in this episode, and is that even close to the number of times the words Michael Landon® appear in the programme's credits? And how many Michael Landons Michael Landon® Landon's Michael Michael's Michael Landon® Michael Landon® Michael Landon® Landon Landon?

Press Michael Landon® and find out...

#MichaelLandon

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Children Of The Stones

With the first stirrings of spring on the breeze, an archive-television reviewer's thoughts naturally turn to fresh air, greenery and neolithic menhirs. A quest for savage nature leads to this episode of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour being 33% outside broadcast, as well as seeing the return of a beloved special guest back in the studio!

Yes, ancient rituals, cutting-edge science and new age ephemera collide, as that rusty old chopper has been broken out of the shed and ridden into the depths of rural Wiltshire for sardonic scrutiny of the first episode of HTV's iconic Children Of The Stones! For once, our hosts aren't the weirdest people in the vicinity. Although that doesn't stop them trying...

When is it permissible to run over an old lady standing in the middle of the road? When is it okay to knock off your academic research for the day and knock back whisky in the pub instead? And when is someone - anyone - going to send a Going Metric: Tins Of Paint leaflet to Blackout?

The sooner you press Play, the sooner you'll find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

Dead Of Night: The Exorcism

Ever keen to multi-task, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's After Dark season is at this point so blasé with unseasonally ticking off items from the Hallowe'en schedule that they've started on the Christmas telly as well. Naturally, ghosts have no real concept of earthly time and so tend to turn up impromptu and behave appallingly. Much like dinner guests...

Yes, this week the hoover gets pushed round and the best cutlery comes out for 1972's Dead Of Night: The Exorcism. And this cautionary tale of social entertaining is a nailed-on lesson as to a) why dinner parties are (and always have been) a thing to be avoided, and more notably b) why no one should invite Blackout and Doctor Velvet to them anyway.

How long can a guest be expected to tolerate a power cut before just retiring to the airing-cupboard with a bottle of wine? How long can a ghost be expected to play the clavichord in the next room before you take a mell hammer to the windows? And how long can a fresh crime-scene be left before Kenneth Kendall starts talking about it on national television?

Light a trail of candles to the Play button, and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

40 Minutes: Ghost Train

Creepy cartoons and high-ectoplasm action series are all well and good to satisfy a 21st century lust for arcane entertainment, but sooner or later what's required is actual, verified, hard evidence of the afterlife. And with that in mind, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour turns - once more - to Auntie Beeb for some documentary fact.

 This comes packaged in the form of 40 Minutes' Ghost Train: Haunted Britain, during which Messrs Velvet and Blackout rise to the seriousness of the occasion in practiced form: by discussing Doctor Who easter-eggs and mocking members of the public foolish enough to have appeared on television one time several decades ago. Because it's what the hosts are here for and let's face it, that's what you're here for too...

Did NHS funding in the 1980s get reduced to the number of sponsored EMF-meter clicks recorded in a haunted house? Can you really complain about paranormal disturbances when you've got a shotgun blast in the ceiling and a mausoleum at the bottom of your garden? And did Blackout buy the book?

 Get John Bruce to gently caress the Play button for you, and find out...


The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

The Fall Guy

This entire series of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour focuses on the more macabre facets of the magic lantern partly in a bid to help clear the supernatural backlog, and because sometimes a Halloween-themed programme crops up that's just too good to leave until Spooky-Season! (or is just too awful to take that coveted slot in the review-schedule, but let's try to be optimistic)

Worlds collide at Mountpeg Towers this week when Ozzy Bognops drops round, and explosions meet ectoplasm for The Fall Guy on 'October The 31st', the textbook snapshot of a celebrated 1980s TV show having a mid-life crisis. Yes, whether you're raising a cold beer to The Unknown Stuntman or a smouldering absinthe to The Mistress Of The Dark, the level of For-The-Dads™ televisual entertainment here is positively off the scale...

How many litres of water does it take to extinguish Sally Field? How many litres of whiskey does it take to incapacitate Colt Seavers? And how many members of the incidental cast are changing their surname to Carradine to ensure they get a screen-credit?

Grab the coroner, unearth the casket, press the Play button, and find out...

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com